My One & Only Lola Cely

My everdearest grammy,

Lola Cely passed away.

She was pronounced dead at 9:45am

last Saturday February 5, 2004.

With a heavy heart

I decided to let her go.

My last conversation with Lola

was the day before she died.

It was absolutely a gloomy Thursday for me

when I learned of her critical condition.

Immediately, I called my mom on her handphone

to talk with Lola.

Lola was lying in the hospital then,

unable to speak. My mom told me

that the last sense to be lost

before a person dies

was that of hearing.

So I talked with Lola Cely

and told her that I love her

and how I wished she could visit me

in Singapore sometime soon.

That moment, as I described in my last entry,

felt like a sudden pause in my life.

My heart seemed to stop for an instant there,

"as if a heart could ever put up a poker face".

I felt I was inside an empty picture.

Everthing seemed all blank; everything became unnecessary

and unimportant that all I could think of

was my longing to be beside Lola

even for the last minutes of her life.

I wanted to go home and see her

even for the very last time.

And so I did. But it was too late

because Lola passed away

even before I could get hold of my airline ticket

bound from Singapore to Manila.

I arrived the day after grammy died,

it was the 6th of Feb. My brothers, JB & Mike,

picked me up at the airport and we headed straight

to Holy Trinity where Lola's wake was held.

When I arrived at the wake I did not want to look

into Lola's coffin. Although I decided to let her go,

I never really accepted in my heart that she was gone

for good. It was as if she was just there, just away

for a vacation or something. But a few seconds after I entered the room as I glanced at the gold and shiny coffin; and one of the visitors asked me a question

(I cannot even recall what);

it sank into me suddenly that my one and only Lola Cely

will be gone for good this time. And so I dashed out of the room and I cried, trying to relieve my longing

and give out a li'l space for my heavy heart.

Then, I realized how Lola has just been released from her physical suffering with diabetes, acquired pneumonia, and other complications that overpowered her. I was gladenned by the thought that finally, my favorite grandmother could be with the Lord, that she could rest and be at peace.

With a much lighter heart I finally let her go.

We watched over Lola until the morning of Feb 10, Thursday - the day she was buried at Loyola Memorial, Sucat.

~~~ Lola Cely ~~~

was the best grandmother I ever had. She was kind, generous and always optimistic, always ready to lend her heart to someone in need.

My inspiration. My friend. My one and only Lola Cely.

My fondest memories of her are when the three of us

(Lola Cely, Mommy Sylvia, and I) would bond

over a meal at home or in some resto and

we would just talk about our everyday struggles

(especially mom and me) and always I found

some sense of inspiration in Lola. I also remember

the times I drag Lola to this and that activity

and she would in turn drag me to watch her long-awaited Tagalog films. I miss those movies Lola...

I remember the two of us discussing together

about life and love. Lola would always listen to me

and share her thoughts and wisdom.

There are a lot of memories with lola especially since she lived in our house for the last 5 years, day in day out.

I will always remember lola

and she will be in my heart for as long as I live.

We love you Inay Cely!

~~~