PRE-postmortem

I had a 2 week project in Singapore as a writer / producer.

The 2 week project reinforced things I've already believed in.

It also carved new insights and ways of learning:

~That life is more than earning dough; that life is fuller with people
around; that relationships do come and go so quickly if you're not on
guard; that a little charm can make a big leap; that one destination
can extend to another; that the heart can be foolish as the mind can
be wise; that balance is essential; that there is a better way to lead
and that is to care for the people working for you; that a lot of
laughter make up for sleepless nights and "bathe-less" days; that
there is always someone up there to thank for all the blessings; that
amidst the busy schedule and fast paced life of this modern day, we
must not forget our spirits hungry to be nurtured…."for what good it
is if we gain the whole world but in the end lose our soul!"

B e a u t i f u l ~ C h a o s

The past 2 weeks had been very full. I stop and realize how so much has happened in just 14 days... (gasp!) Now, I sit here at a time when I thought all the action would be all gone and over, but no...life never fails to amaze me.

I can't believe how stupid I can be to experience this feeling the 2nd time around. Guess what? I missed my plane again. stuck...stuck...stuck in this tiny red dot of the world map, yeah I'm stuck again in Singapore! (eyes shut. breathe.)

In retrospect, this time didn't feel as bad as the first. For one, I expected it coming early this morning when I got up late, clock ticking, pressure rushing and all the crap of this "late freak". Forgive me, but... it's just all too frustrating. One lesson I'm still trying to perfect is never repeating the same mistakes again. Argh! Lord help me.

~~~

Well, let's leave some room for consolation I suppose. I mean if you really come to think of it, the first time I was left by the plane, it was not because I was not prepared nor did I wake up late. Actually we checked in very early then. My friend and I were headed to Japan for an English contest, all expenses paid. Exciting huh?! But, when the plane was calling for its final boarding, my friend stopped and realized he left his suit, his "magic costume", a lucky charm to him I guess. So we hurriedly called his roomate who rushed as fast as he could (of course) to deliver the "magic suit". And to our shock... as we were inches and seconds away, the gate finally closed and they told us that they are removing our stuff from the plane. Wah! It was one of the days I could not forget, you know that feeling... as if your heart suddenly dropped. The thing with that first time was that all happened so quickly and it was just a matter of minutes or even seconds when our emotions whirled from excitement to dead shock.

On the other hand, right now, I admit I don't feel so stunned. I mean even while I was in the cab heading towards the airport I knew all too well: it would take a miracle for me to board that plane. And in essence, to the part of me I'm trying to remove, you "late freak": you deserve to be "punished". *hush hush* This is the end. I will do all it takes to break this. I aim to improve on this area, because it can certainly break me. Besides, it's not at all reflective of my faith in Him. Lord help me.

Time is truly gold... now I hafta shell out a few dollars from my pocket. It should have been free all along.

~~~

Yup, it was supposed to be free. I got a round trip ticket to and fro the "garden city" because I was contracted as a writer & producer of a corporate video. Our client was Masterbulk, a Norweigian company based in Singapore. It was a 2-week project that indeed, offered me lots of learnings and a relatively good pay. I was also able to go to Shanghai for 2 days, again all expenses paid. Everything happened so fast and for the first time I experienced having no regular sleep and staying in the office over night for 3 days. Well, it was a rushed project. And I decided to stay on because I wanted to observe, and learn and see what can be done, should have been done and it was all good and memorable to me. *I will leave room for the details in the next entry though, (deep breath. calm.)

I'm listening to this cd playing over and over again in this cafe and it sorta leaves a message of what I feel: I want to walk in fields of gold and bask in the bronze sunshine. I want to swim inside my colorful dreams. (deep breath. calm. beautiful.)