~~~~~ P A M c a k e s ~~~~~
Pamela Almeda

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Location: Singapore, Philippines

Monday, October 25, 2004

finding the right mix

It takes time to get to know someone
1 year may be enough for some
But others take a lot more than that
Even a whole lifetime of being together
won't really mean anything

unless you find the right mix;
that perfect blend I suppose.
'This a magic potion?
perhaps not too surreal as that.
I don't know why I find this so true
A moment ago it seems you couldn't get through
He seemed all too different for you
But at a snap, just recently, I'm beginning to feel home here.
Funny! Because a year ago I didn't see myself here.
Well, I'm here. In the process of becoming.
Have found the right mix?
"A perfect concoction!" I ironically agree.

To everyone there's a different something
that tickles; To each soul is one perfect mix.
For this transitory state of solitude
Bet I'd stir a' shake & hope to find each one I love
their own perfect blend; mix my curious interest and some
passion to expose what was once unknown.

Go find that rare pool of peeps
Then I'd say I'd be more than a happy life! Incessant Bliss!

Random thots on a sleepless night

my hall at nite

I like centers & cores; not much of them outskirts
I'd love to swim the raging rivers of life
Dip thine fingers and feel the moment's passion.
Lovely memories of love tickle my solemn reveries
I delight in being different and unique
But I've always desired some form of attachment
to people places and even cute li'l things

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

You're more than enough for me

Lord, you're more than enough for me

miracle day once again. It's just amazing how God picks us up and shows us things worth knowing. And this day is one of them days.

There are a lot of days when I've shrugged a shoulder to His whisper, calling me back home. I guess, I simply love to "partttDDaaaay". I'm talking about clean fun here. But still He's right...'it's past 12 and way beyond my bedtime'! I pretended deaf all along. Yeah, I've ignored the whisper. "It seemed too tiny a voice to be Father calling me anywayzzzz",I shrug once more.

Well hear me out now, don't you dare ignore that tiny voice, you silly Billy. It will get louder you know. Maybe next time it's not a whisper anymore, but something that will blow your ears out. Or if that's too extreme, it can be more like strage things happening around you, friends, family, just name it?

I've had strange things happening to me lately. Well for this particular day, I'm glad it's the 'strange' turned into the 'miraculous'. A story of power prayer I suppose. Caught in a rut once again; pails of tears over me; it's like those moments in the movies when a bomb explodes on that seemingly normal day. It's the moment when suddenly the color turns to gray and the scene all of a sudden moves slow... very slow and in disarray. And your just on the verge of going berserk or you just stiffen, not knowing which step to take; where to take it in the first place... you know what I mean.

I'll reserve the details of this strange story for another entry. But point is, I was caught in a rut and well, God saved me. Now let me tell you the feeling when you jump right out of the strange story and into another miraculous scene. It's not a seamless cut to the next episode. But it's another scene set on another place altogether, a happy place this time.

The shock remains, and I'm still a little shaky but
at this point everything's back where you first started, before the bad news broke out; before the bomb fell on you. And now I'm back here once more in front of the computer. God has saved me. He carried me through. I called out to Him with all desperation and humility, "I wanna go back home now Father". I mustered all strength to call out to Him and he was there to listen. My best friend, lover of my soul,my savior, the knight of my fairy tale...

I still feel the aftershock of that shaking. He wanted me to pay attention this time. And now I know, I will be here to listen. Forget the parttdaaaaay! There are a million and one ways to have fun here at home; beside my loving Father.

What story have you got today? It's ok that it's kinda strange coz I assure you it can still be a fairy tale. I love Jesus!!! Hope you do tooo my friend!

Monday, October 11, 2004

In a trance

Are you sure you're awake when "you are"
And you're dreaming when "you are"
Or is this just a dream altogether...
Perhaps, it's the other way around?
You're actually dreaming when you think you're awake...
And you're simply living this dream.


Anyway, before I hit the books and continue my exciting study session
(one of a series of crammin'-catch-up deals I had to jump into, once again,
now that exams are 3 weeks up & comin')just gotta call out all ye romantix:
Do watch Before Sunset starring Ethan Hawke. The movie is just
so true. I guess it's rare you find this in films; capturing 'the moment'. I bet
some of you may find yourselves nine years from now hanging on a limbo and
finding the right answers to your love questions at the wrong time.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

To another lonely soul...

The first time you discover how bad the world can be is one moment that will change your life forever. It's painful to know loved ones who, at such a young age, grow weary of life. Not denying the smiles in their faces nor the tough look they may exude, but in the words that come out from their hearts...you can't deny the hatred lying deep within.

To feel that cold and dark void where inevitable confusion lives (to be all the more nurtured) is to walk in a crooked path: one lonely road which sadly seems hard to get out of. What's worse is not knowing you're in it.

My heart bleeds to see them there. I guess everyone goes through a wrong way, having ignored that 'road less travelled'at some point or another. But being there and having to see others walk through those angry walls are two different things.
For one, you can't help but see where they're headed and point two, you know you can't really do much.

The torture is the desire to change things, (to change the world in some significant way)because the more you try, the more you realize it's impossible. There is no such thing as a perfect world alongside imperfect people. Besides, the eternal fact remains: only one perfect being walked the halls of earth.

I live to seek perfection but the search is disappointing, for to one lonely soul is but another.

~"to change the world in one significant way" when you can't even change yourself???~

I'd like to see love in their childhood bloom until their teenage years; I'd like to glance at their innocence as they begin the tough journey of adulthood; I'd like to be here forever dreaming... Dreaming of a heaven here on their earth.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Something About Me


Who am I…But a relic of tomorrow; a dream of ages ago. There’s just the present left for me now. Yet each daring moment seems eternal and beautiful ~ all the same. I love the melody of truth-the warmth it brings is comforting (like a forbidden hug that shares your first ever love). In spite of all the depth I see, I’d bask in my own heart’s thumping. I’d dare go where my dreams will fly; off to paradise or even to another lonely soul. Perfection rules in certain times but change remains constant, isn’t it so?… This journey takes just one forever-ride and I’ll stay on assured of an exciting & meaningful life.

I'm simply unpredictable! A perfect blend of spices & sweets. I 've started to like chilly and ‘ really love strawberries, sugar–coated, whipped or dashed with some salty feel.

I hate lizards in the room: they jump & pop & give me a heart attack. I love dogs that don't howl so I’d take care of one; name him “Poncho”. Simply love the sound of it!

They say I always walk, talk & do just about anything with my chin up. I guess it's just because I once dreamt of becoming a model but didn't have the height to measure up. haha!

I can be lovable at times. I'll cheer yowap with my fun stories & life adventures!

I can laugh hard enough my lungs could explode. And when I cry it can be really ugly.

I love performing up on stage: dancing or acting. Singing / dancing alone in the room drives the low times away.

I'm the only girl in my family but I've always dreamt of having my own li’l sis. There's a lot I wish to share wif her.

i believe in Jesus and the sunscreen song, well most of
it. i'm tough (strong-willed) but still a hopeless

I am this and I am that. All these idiosyncracies are li'l things my true friends dearly love.

After all the happy and the sad, there's just one point I wish to go: To see Jesus and be in heaven for eternity.

Friday, October 01, 2004

My Sunshine

I miss our innocence and our deep love
Nobody knows the depth of our passion
No one can ever take the truth in our hearts
And though you've gone and all seems but a memory
Our legacy continues & just a mere thought of you brings me back to life
For you've taken my heart once & only you can bring it back
I love the simple thought of you for it keeps my soul alive
I loved you

You've never been far away from me
For in between the deep waters that separate us
Are Oceans of beautiful memories