On the way to Recovery

Thank God!

Today I've realized the answer to my ongoing question. I've been asking myself, "Now that I've become a Christian, why is it that I feel I've become 'worse', experiencing more pain... feeling that life was happier before, without much cares in the world?"

But Rick Warren's message in an interview hit me. I finally found the answer. He said, "God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy... The goal is to grow in character, in Christlikeness... You can focus on your purposes, on God and on others because if you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centredness."

And that's what I've become - selfish, self-centred. As if everything is about me.

Now, even though there's pain, I know God is dealing with me. And I thank Him for purifying me. For removing the idols of my heart. He has just removed them. Those things that we place higher than Him, those people in whom we set our hopes or dreams on. They fade away in the saving grace of Christ, who is the one, the only one who truly loves. He is the one who will "never leave us nor forsake us".

I've been proud, angry and I've harbored unforgiveness in my heart because I was mainly insecure, frustrated, stressed and tired. But now, I want to leave that kind of life and I pray that God will deal with the deepest cuts I had and have right now. He is my Healer.

I want to apologize to those I've hurt. Maybe one day, they will read this and know that I seek their forgiveness. I pray that they won't harbor unforgiveness against me so that all of us will be released from bitterness and pain. This time in this new episode of life, I aim to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to be angry.

~ p a m ~